Make the Sunshine

Fear But once it happened...there were  so many fears attached to it.  what kind of MS do i have....is it a relapse or new symtoms, the tests, the future, acceptance from the people around me.. But slowly and slowly each fear was tackled.  So almost  after  years of no new symptoms, I was kinda getting used to the  feeling good factor ...taking care of my son and the ability of doing everything without pain or difficulty. Then one day I stumbled upon my old  picture of 6 years ago.. it was the time when I was struggling alot with my health. Constant fatigue, pain and numbness....it was dull, it was full of fear and anxiety. I didn't want to be like that again..that feeling of agony  all the time....which made me realised...that I have not been  taking care of myself like I did before my delivery ...I am not taking any MS medication...and then fear started cropping up...what if I get a relapse, there is some new activities on my brain....aaaahhhhhh.....so much discomfort so many FEA

So this year, this very day marks my 7th anniversary as a MS-er. Well, trust me, I never grew up thinking that one day I would write about myself, or as matter of fact write about anything. I am not particularly good at writing, a big no no!! I get all my posts checked by my husband. He helps me with the grammatical errors.(hehehee, I am not proud of it), but I am getting better. I write what I feel from the heart.I don't write because I think I am special.  So then, why do I write??   "Through writing, we can give expression to our thoughts. Those writings can become an enduring treasure, conveying our thoughts to others who read them" Daisaku Ikeda When I was diagnosed with MS I never knew what it was..or anything like this existed. But when I got it I also didn't know..i would be able to take it so bravely (am I  bragging, Yes) I thought I would be a coward, I thought I would freak out so badly after knowing I have an incurable disease. But I somehow, managed it qu

"Hope, in this sense, is a decision. It is the most important decision we can make. Hope changes everything, starting with our lives. Hope is the force that enables us to take action, To make our dreams come true" Dr. Daisaku Ikeda Since the day I was diagnosed with MS, I made a decision to be hopeful. 'I hope' each day and everyday. When I conceived I hoped that I deliver a healthy baby. I hoped to remain healthy myself. I also hoped to be able to give my baby breast milk as much as I could. What ensued was, that, initially when my baby was born i.e. the first four weeks, I thought and felt that (only) breast feeding was the most stupid decision I had made. I could not sleep, it was painful. As time passed I got comfortable with the whole experience of Motherhood.   And I ended up giving my baby breast milk for 2 years. It was and will be the most beautiful yet enduring, amazing yet difficult, experience of my life so far. I fee