Make the Sunshine

"Hope, in this sense, is a decision. It is the most important decision we can make. Hope changes everything, starting with our lives. Hope is the force that enables us to take action, To make our dreams come true" Dr. Daisaku Ikeda Since the day I was diagnosed with MS, I made a decision to be hopeful. 'I hope' each day and everyday. When I conceived I hoped that I deliver a healthy baby. I hoped to remain healthy myself. I also hoped to be able to give my baby breast milk as much as I could. What ensued was, that, initially when my baby was born i.e. the first four weeks, I thought and felt that (only) breast feeding was the most stupid decision I had made. I could not sleep, it was painful. As time passed I got comfortable with the whole experience of Motherhood.   And I ended up giving my baby breast milk for 2 years. It was and will be the most beautiful yet enduring, amazing yet difficult, experience of my life so far. I fee...

I have often seen my parents drink the Golden Milk (Turmeric infused milk) during winters. But I never used to pay much heed to it. The thought of drinking it would disgust me. When I was diagnosed with MS, after a few week of my mother’s research regarding what kind of diet I should be on, she kept on telling me how the turmeric is good for auto immune diseases as it has anti-inflammatory properties. She would insist on having the fresh one which is available in India during the winters. Here I am after three years of my mother nagging; Golden Water (since I am off milk) is what I swear by for a fatigued morning. It refreshes by body and helps relieve the body pain and the burning sensation that I get on my left leg (the affected leg). It has also helped me with cold cough and flu like symptoms. Preparation Method: Grate some fresh turmeric in a pan with water. Let it boil till the color of the water turns orange.  Add a teaspoon of Honey if you like. Try it and let me...

After coming back from the hospital I didn’t know how to go about anything. My wedding was within the next four months and my brother was going to Germany to start his first job and I still hadn't figured out how to tell my sister that I won’t be coming to see her in England and be with her during the last few months of her pregnancy. We had so many plans, I was planning to throw her a baby shower and she was planning a bachelorette party for me.  I had everything planned out like my shopping list, places I wanted to go and eat in London. But just as they say” man proposes god disposes”, everything has a reason. I was still wondering at that moment, what was the reason that I had MS. I had to visit the doctor after a month, when the course of the oral steroids finishes. Night and day, home and family, friends everything was same but the only thing that was not the same was that now am living with an incurable disease. My mother started to do her research for what kind of f...

Dawn of a new day has come, a new day filled with new prayers, with the anxiety of  a fresh thought and outlook that now i am a girl with MS, where everything seems so different in a different way. I woke up with anxiety. I hate injections, and the thought of getting IV was getting on my nerves. I still get jittery when I think of getting an injection. I find it very painful, like I said earlier, I am a sensitive girl. So I went to the hospital with my mom, brother and father.  There was no room available so had to wait, at that time I was numb looking over all the people around me, I realized all emotions can be witnessed at the hospital; sadness, happiness, anger , despair, excitement. When I look at myself I was confused. I thought of myself as a perfectly normal girl; walking and talking and eating, but was at a hospital getting steroids for a Multiple Sclerosis episode. The irony of this disease is that we look fine to everyone, no one would know unless told that we...